The Emotional Side of Food Allergies: Supporting Your Child and Yourself

Navigating food allergies can be challenging, not just physically but emotionally. In this insightful article, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor Tamara Hubbard shares valuable strategies and resources to help families manage the stress and anxiety that often come with food allergies. From understanding common triggers to building a toolkit for resilience, this piece offers compassionate guidance for parents and children alike, so you can focus on living fully and joyfully—even with food allergies. 

 
The Emotional Side of Food Allergies: Supporting Your Child and Yourself 

Just because you or your family manages food allergies doesn’t mean you can’t live a full and fun-filled life! With evidence-based information and practical strategies in place, those managing food allergies can safely navigate life and view their food allergies as just one part of who they are - not what defines them. 

Even so, dealing with the unpredictable nature of food allergies can feel stressful and overwhelming at times. Navigating uncertainties, such as understanding food labels and learning how to assess food allergy-related safety risks, can easily induce anxiety and stress that, if not managed, can lead to living in fear. 

Therefore, let’s explore common psychosocial stressors, food allergy-related anxiety, tips for managing the stress associated with living with food allergies, and useful resources to know about if you’re finding it hard to manage it all. 

Psychosocial Stressors Associated with Managing Food Allergies 

Many individuals and families find managing food allergies stressful. In general, this stress can impact people in the following ways: 

• Cognitively: Worrying about allergen exposures, allergic reactions, and anaphylaxis (a severe allergic reaction); experiencing food allergy-related anxiety and phobias 

• Physiologically: Experiencing “fight or flight” stress responses when navigating allergy management challenges; hyper-focusing on physical sensations which may then be interpreted as symptoms of an allergic reaction 

• Behaviorally: Limiting life experiences; excessively avoiding social situations and safe enough foods; checking for allergens beyond what’s necessary; restrictive eating patterns 

Let’s look more specifically at common food allergy-related psychosocial stressors by age and stage to get a sense for what individuals, parents, and families navigate when managing food allergies: 

• Infant, toddler, and preschool years: As parents and caregivers are primarily responsible for safety during these stages, they may experience anxiety and worry about how to keep their child safe. Specific stressors during these stages include: 

• Determining food allergy management approaches; 

• Learning what foods and actions are safe, safe enough, and not safe 

• Introduction of new foods and allergens, and keeping safe foods in the diet 

• Concerns about potential accidental allergen exposures with little ones that often put their hands and objects in their mouths 

• Monitoring for allergic reactions at an age when children can’t describe their symptoms 

• Navigating food allergy management within daycares, preschool programs, and social activities 

• Age-appropriately helping children begin to learn about their food allergy 

• Middle childhood and preteen years: Building on food allergy management strategies from previous stages, parents and caregivers are tasked with helping their school-aged and preteen children learn how to safely navigate a growing variety of social experiences with food allergies. This often feels hard for parents and caregivers since children are outside of their care most days while at school and activities. Specific stressors during these stages include: 

• Ensuring that these children can effectively recognize and respond to allergic reactions, including knowing how and when to ask for help 

• Equipping these children with additional food allergy management skills that will help them safely and confidently navigate new life and social experiences 

• Helping these children manage food allergy-related anxiety and navigate potential allergy-related bullying and social exclusions 

• Adolescence and young adulthood: During these stages, parents and caregivers are tasked with supporting their teens and young adults who are taking on increased food allergy management responsibility. These stages can be anxiety-inducing for parents and caregivers due to concerns about risk-taking behaviors and having less control over how food allergies are managed outside of the home. Specific stressors during these stages include: 

• Having conversations about navigating food allergy management and staying safe while also dealing with social pressures, which might feel embarrassing 

• Helping teens and young adults develop workable food allergy management strategies that allow them to problem-solve challenging situations and make good choices about their futures 

• Ensuring that teens and young adults can share their own medical history with medical practitioners, and understand how to navigate the healthcare system and renew prescriptions for emergency medications 

Now that we’ve explored common psychosocial stressors associated with managing food allergies, let’s explore how food allergy-related anxiety factors into the mix. 

Food Allergy-Related Anxiety Basics 

Anxiety is a normal emotion that we all experience from time to time in response to stress and challenges. You’ll know anxiety is present when you find yourself worrying and feeling nervous or uneasy about an upcoming event or uncertainty about future situations. 

It’s important to note that experiencing the emotion of anxiety isn’t the same thing as having a clinical anxiety disorder, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and specific phobias. An anxiety disorder involves more than temporary worry and fear. It involves anxiety that doesn’t go away, tends to get worse over time, and has symptoms that typically interfere with daily activities (e.g. work or school, relationships, etc). 

For individuals and families managing food allergies, it’s normal to experience some food allergy-related anxiety, especially at key times, such as after a food allergy diagnosis or an allergic reaction. In fact, at manageable levels, this anxiety can actually be helpful, as it can encourage you to plan and prepare for safety (e.g. planning how to eat out safely, to be prepared to respond to an allergic reaction). 

However, anxiety can become unhelpful when it is ongoing, experienced at high levels, and impacts your daily functioning at home, school, or work. Anxiety like that often leads people to avoid situations and experiences beyond what’s necessary to stay safe with food allergies. When this happens, it often negatively impacts how you feel about life in general and more specifically, how you feel about living with food allergies. 

Taking a closer look at food allergy-related anxiety, this type of anxiety is typically focused on specific safety and risk-related aspects of living with food allergies. Common things that induce food allergy-related anxiety include: 

• Being newly-diagnosed and feeling overwhelmed 

• Worrying about potential allergic reactions or anaphylaxis 

• Experiencing needle phobia or fear of using epinephrine autoinjectors 

• Others not understanding or being supportive of food allergy management 

• Age/stage transitions (e.g. transitioning into bigger schools) 

• Age-appropriate transitions of food allergy management responsibilities to child or teen 

• Oral food challenges or medical appointments 

• Food allergy treatments (e.g. oral or sublingual immunotherapy) 

Yet, just because you or your child are experiencing food allergy-related anxiety doesn’t automatically mean you need to begin therapy. Many individuals and families develop their own coping strategies that allow them to effectively manage anxiety and stress so that they can fully enjoy life even with food allergies. 

But what if you need additional support? Let’s explore practical tips and resources to help you navigate the emotional side of living with food allergies. 

Tips and Resources for Managing Food Allergy-Related Anxiety and Stress 

To help you manage food allergy-related anxiety and stress, you may find the following practical tips useful: 

• Work with a board-certified allergist and allergy care team that uses current best practices to ensure you’re receiving the most up-to-date guidance possible. 

• Use evidence-based information from your allergist and reputable information sources as the foundation for your food allergy management approaches. 

• Identify sources of your anxiety, fear, and stress, and then aim to develop workable solutions that allow you to balance allergy safety while still living life to its fullest. 

• Use boundaries and breaks wherever needed, especially with social media content. 

• Develop a toolkit of coping strategies, which might include: 

• Anxiety management tools: A helpful tool is to turn stressful “what if” thoughts into actionable “if, then” thoughts (e.g. “If my child has an allergic reaction, then we will use our emergency action plan and self-injectable epinephrine device.”) 

• Deep breathing exercises: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm the mind and body, such as five finger breathing, box breathing, or 4-7-8 breathing. 

• Stress relief practices: Help your body navigate stress through movement, exercise, and body scan practices. 

• Growth mindset approaches: Use empowering self-talk statements such as “We can learn how to navigate life with food allergies!” and “This won’t always feel overwhelming.” 

But what if you try strategies like these and notice that you or your child are still experiencing ongoing food allergy-related anxiety, are doing less of the things you enjoy, or are not navigating the stress of food allergy management well? 

In that case, it might be time to consider mental health counseling, preferably with a food allergy-informed therapist. Common reasons people might want to consider counseling when managing food allergies includes: 

• Difficulty coping with food allergy-related anxiety and psychosocial stressors. 

• Experiencing ongoing worry about future reactions and/or experiencing food allergy-related phobias after a recent allergic reaction. 

• Engaging in restrictive or rigid eating patterns that are impacting daily living. 

• Difficulty asserting food allergy management needs outside of the home or with others. 

• Difficulty managing food allergies in a way that allows you to live life the way you want to. 

• When food allergy-related concerns are a component of broader mental health disorders. 

To find a food allergy-informed therapist within the US and Canada, visit the Academy of Food Allergy Counseling’s therapist directory to locate therapists who are able to work within your state/province: www.FoodAllergyCounseling.org 

Additionally, you may find the following resources helpful as you work towards managing food allergy-related anxiety and stress: 

• The Food Allergy Counselor: For anxiety, mindset, emotional well-being, and parenting articles, podcasts, and worksheets. 

• The American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology’s Food Allergy Ages & Stages Handouts. 

• Allergic Living Magazine’s Food Allergy Anxiety Guide. 

• Food Allergy & Your Kiddo podcast, with board-certified allergist Dr. Alice Hoyt. 

• FARE: For food allergy education and support groups. 

• For medical information and allergist finder tools, visit the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (AAAAI) and the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (ACAAI) 

Remember, while it can feel hard living with food allergies, it IS possible to live fully and safely. The key is recognizing what worries you, talking about it with your board certified allergist, developing strategies for managing stress, getting additional support when needed, and not letting food allergies stop you from living the life you want to live! 

Bio: 

Tamara Hubbard, MA, LCPC 

Tamara Hubbard is a licensed clinical professional counselor and marriage and family therapist with more than 20 years of clinical experience. In her private practice, she helps allergic and non-allergic clients, especially parents, find their “just right” balance between feeling overwhelmed and living fully. 

Regarded as a thought leader and innovator within the allergy community, Tamara created The Food Allergy Counselor in 2018 to fill a much needed resource gap. The FAC’s website offers evidence-based food allergy mental health, anxiety management, mindset, and parenting content, including worksheets and podcast episodes. Tamara also founded the (newly-renamed) Academy of Food Allergy Counseling and its Food Allergy Counseling Directory, and currently serves as its Chief Advisor. 

A speaker at national conferences, Tamara is an active Allied Health member of both the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (AAAAI) and the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (ACAAI), and holds advisory roles for multiple organizations, including FARE and the Center for Food Allergy and Asthma Research (CFAAR). 

Her first book, May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies, will be published by Johns Hopkins University Press in 2025. You can find more information about her book, content, and resources at www.FoodAllergyCounselor.com.